Lake Matiri with the guys

The third time I went tramping, I went with Graham, Brian and Clay to Lake Matiri. This was probably the most significant experience I've had since I've been here, and it's something that I promise I will never forget.

We drove up on thursday night and camped in the car park before waking up friday morning to start our journey. We woke up and started hiking along a river, and although we hadn't really found a real trail, we followed this river for about two and a half hours thinking it was the right way according to the map we had. There was a lot of river crossing and bushwacking involved in the hiking during those 2 and a half hours, and eventually, we realized that we had been following the wrong river and should have crossed it at the bottom and followed it where it split back in the very beginning...so that was a nice 5 hour detour including the time we spent going up it and then backtracking. Luckily we couldn't really get lost because we were just following a river, but unfortunately, on the way back while we were bushwacking, I stepped down onto what I thought was solid ground, but the tall grass made it pretty difficult to see what I was actually stepping on, and I ended up kinda falling through and really hurting my foot/ankle. It wasn't bad enough that I couldn't walk on it anymore, but it definitely hurt to walk. And since we were walking all over rocks by the river, there was very little flat ground which was what hurt the least to walk on. When we got back to the beginning of the river where we took our wrong turn, we stopped and had lunch and I really wondered if I'd be able to keep going. This was a pretty big cause of concern for me because it was our first day of a 3 day trip and I didn't want to make everyone stop just for me and ruin their trip. After lunch, we found the actual trail, and because it was an actual trail it was easier for me to walk on, even though it was still fairly painful. We only had about a 2 hour hike or so before we got to the hut at Lake Matiri. Once we got there, we dropped off our packs and stuff and headed down to the lake to chill for a while - it was so peaceful and absolutely gorgeous down there. We were hours away from any sort of civilization and it's one of my new favorite feelings to be in the middle of no where surrounded by nature and just feel cut off from the outside world and really be able to immerse myself in nature.

We hung out in the hut at night and cooked and made a fire and played cards and things, and then just went to bed - while I was sleeping I woke up a lot because my foot/ankle hurt so bad and I was convinced that it was hurt really badly and I was going to need to like, amputate it because I was freaking out so much haha but then I woke up in the morning and it wasn't quite so bad, but still in pain. We had breakfast and got going and I tried for a while to keep up and hike the trail with the guys, but it was not going to happen because 1. I don't think I'm fit enough to even make it up that 2 hour mountain climb in the trail, and 2. my foot was killing me and I really didn't want to hurt it more and injure myself so much that I couldn't do anything else active while in new zealand. Once I decided to go back to the hut, the guys said they would just keep going to the top of the trail and then head back so they'd be back to the hut by dark. Brian was nice enough to walk me down the mountain climb to make sure I didn't hurt myself worse and then I walked back to the hut alone. This was when I had my defining 6 hours of solitude in the hut before the guys came back. This was an experience I'd never been through before, and I learned so much about myself and my life. I was in a hut for 6 hours by myself, forced to have no human contact during that time because I was hours away from civilization and the only other people on the trail (Graham Brian and Clay) weren't going to be back until dark, and because it was in the middle of nowhere, my cell phone had no service and I couldn't contact anyone else. It was an incredible feeling to realize that you're completely unable to interact with any other people for an extended period of time, and you have to do what you can with yourself and your time. At first, I was a little discouraged because I was worried about my foot and I was missing out on the part of the trail that we came here for, but then I realized that I had 6 hours to myself, and I was in a hut with a beautiful lake view listening to the wind and the birds and I could do anything I wanted with that time. So I thought. And I sang. And I soul-searched and finally came to the realization I needed. I had been worried about my future and things in terms of what I would do when I got back from studying abroad and what career path I wanted and all that kinda stuff, and this experience really made me realize that not knowing is okay. And that I need to take every day I have and make the most of it and not let anything stress me out or ruin what could be a perfect day. I had always tried to live by the philosophy of live life to the fullest and make the most of situations and opportunities, but I never fully understood what that meant until this day. I had been thinking about how I only have a limited amount of time in New Zealand, and I have to take advantage of every moment I have because my time is limited and before I know it I'll have to leave. But life is only a finite amount of time, and I shouldn't be taking advantage of my time only in New Zealand, I should be taking advantage of my time every single day, no matter where I am or who I'm with, because nothing lasts forever, and nothing should be taken for granted. It was an incredible feeling, and I feel like I finally realized that I can control my own happiness and I'm not going to let little things get to me or ruin any of my time because life really is too short. And I decided that I'm going to get some sort of tattoo symbolizing that experience and feeling because I want it there every day to remind me what I felt like that day, and that I need to feel that way every day for the rest of my life.

The rest of the trip was fun, but the whole weekend was definitely defined by those 6 hours of solitude I had where I really figured things out for myself. It was easily the best part of my time in New Zealand thus far, and I love that it was when I was completely by myself, and I know that I don't need anything other than myself to make me happy and keep me going. That was something I really wanted to get out of my experience here, and I couldn't feel better about it.

The last day on the way out, it was raining and we thought our car would be stuck in the mud and we had to do this crazy river crossing where I'm pretty sure I would have been washed away if we hadn't all crossed together like you're supposed to. It was pretty epic and awesome, and a good end to our tramp that weekend.